Women's role in Indian society

There is probably nobody less qualified to write about women than me. But Indian culture has some interesting and unusual aspects which I will try to briefly describe here.

India in some ways is a quite advanced in terms of women's rights. There is currently a woman president, there was a woman prime minister in the early 1980s, and there have been women in high government jobs throughout the 60 years of Indian independence.

Yet at the same time, everyday interactions between men and women are far different than they are in the West. They are also changing incredibly rapidly and a subject of much tension and debate in India.

I will ignore here the complicated issue of fundamental Islamic women who wear burkhas and do not speak to men, though this group makes up a meaningful portion of society here.

Employment
One of the things that I noticed upon arriving here was that men often work in jobs that would typically be filled by women in many other countries. For example, men typically clean rooms at hotels, do laundry, and perform housekeeping tasks. This was strikingly apparent at my hotel in Jaipur. Everyone who worked at any job inside the hotel was a man. Yet outside, there was some construction being done. This was being done by female workers, who carried bricks on their heads from one area of the hotel to the other.

I have talked with a few people about this issue. They attribute this to a few factors. First, female literacy significant trails male literacy here. This makes it hard for women to do jobs like wait tables. Second, even in most lower-middle class families, most women do not work but instead manage the household and raise the children. Finally, social norms often do not allow women and men to interact entirely freely, as noted above.

Conversation
In my experience, men rarely will address women who are accompanied by other men directly in conversation. At meals with women, the waiter typically addresses them men to see what the women would like. Buses have Ladies Compartments, and there are male and female lines at most ticket booths, security lines, and entrance gates. When Brittany and I went to a travel agent to book our trip in Leh, I needed to walk down the street to get a copy of my passport made. The male travel agent was not comfortable being alone in his store with a female, so he stood outside while I was gone.

Family Life
India has always struggled with run-away population growth. I have written about China's approach to the problem. Being a democracy, it is impossible for India to enforce something like a one-child, one-family policy. But the government has recently announced a new plan to curb population growth. The state has committed to pay R5,000 (US$250) for a "second honeymoon" to any couple who does not have a child in their first two years of marriage. They will pay R7,500 for any couple who does not have a child in their first three years of marriage. Over 85% of married couples have a child in their first two years of marriage, so the government hopes it can reduce the birth rate by encouraging people to wait longer to have children.

There are also massive problems with parents aborting female children (especially in rural areas). While this is somewhat similar to the problem in rural China, the dowry factor here makes the problem even worse.

Customarily in India, single men and women live with their parents until they get married. After marrying, the woman moves in with the man in his parents' house. At marriage, the bride's family pays a large dowry to the family of the groom.

This dowry can be a huge financial commitment for the bride's family, one that takes years of savings. As such, having female children in India is thought of by some as a financial burden. And tragically, as a result the ratio of males/females in rural India is now around 57/43.

The Karantaka government has recently announced a new plan to combat this. They are literally paying families to have female children. Girl children will receive free health insurance until they are 18 and a scholarship to pay for elementary schooling. They also become the beneficiaries of a life insurance policy that the state takes out on their parents. Finally, the parents will receive a lump sum payment of R30,000 when their daughter turns 18.

Finally, I learned a lot from my new friend Madhu this weekend about his family, including how he met his wife. They had a marriage arranged by their parents, as is common in traditional Indian culture. But this process is more complicated than I realized. When Madhu decided that he was ready to get married, his parents sent the details of his life (name, exact date and time of birth, etc) to an astrologer. She then compared those details with those of the women she had in her database, then recommended some matches to Madhu's parents. Madhu's parents then interviewed the parents of the potential matches, and chose one. Madhu met her once and they talked for a few hours. They then got engaged, and were married a few months later. They have been happily married for the past 15 years. And, only 1% of Indian marriages ends in divorce, so maybe there is something to be said for the zodiac!